I finally know what I look for in a guy.

He needs to be attentive. Everything I do has to be of interest to him. He will ask about my day, and telling him about the most mundane parts will leave him completely involved in the conversation. No, we don't talk about me all the time, we share it.

I cannot stand a self-absorbed bastard, who only knows how to brag and brag about his day. Everything we talk about is about HIM HIM HIM. Him and his oh-I-don't-like-her-I-just-like-to-talk-about-her-every-second-of-the-day-and-you-have-to-listen girl-friend.

He asks me a personal question, but I know it's just out of politeness. He doesn't actually care. And that hurts.

He can't just blow over a huge matter by MIAing for a few weeks, then come back talking about the weather and what'swhat. No, I don't just pretend "it never happened".

I'm not hung up anymore. It IS over, once and for all, and I'm glad it is.

FUCK YOU.

I think it's important for me to record down each day that passes during this period. Then, when I look back, I will realise what a fool I've been.

Cuz when I'm with him, I'm thinking of you..

Do fuck off if you're reading this because I'm lazy to lock this blog up, and I desperately need an outlet to scream out to. Serene that means you.

Today, I thought about it less. Of course, that may be attributed to the fact that I didn't spend the day at home rotting in front of the computer. Nevertheless, I will always be wondering what did happen that day. I don't think I will be able to find out.

Because it's over. Yes, I've accepted that.

I know that with each passing day, the pain will lessen, the thoughts too. The mystery kills me, though.

I want to get over this.

I hate myself for sinking so far in, for putting so much feeling into this insubstantial relationship, when I knew it never would have worked out from the very beginning.

In your eyes I'd like to stay.